Christmas Blog
Christmas time is approaching, bringing lots of joy and happiness! It is the magical time of the year when families and friends gather and spend time together. A very nice 3 course meal has been planned months in advance to be shared by all… Oh Dear…
What makes Christmas time so special is also our worst enemy when experiencing an eating disorder. All the main challenges of an ED are mixed together in a very short space of time, and this makes the Festive Period very stressful and difficult to manage. A loud alarm goes off in your in brain: how do I cope with the menu; with the lack of control over my food and my exercise time; with the wrong perception I have of my body image versus the opinions of my loved ones; the judgement they could have regarding my ED; the comments they could make; the fear of putting on weight… These are numerous challenges that can trigger anxiety, stress, panic, isolation, sadness, guilt, shame or anger.
Do not worry, these are natural and normal feelings! But you don’t want them (and your ED) to disturb and ruin your family reunion, do you? Good news: there are plenty of ways for you to enjoy Christmas and with this newsletter, I will share with you tools that I have used during my recovery to overcome this stressful time of year!
Pre-Christmas advice: Take a deep breath, we are first going to try to imagine what the festive period will look like in order to prepare ourselves. Do you know someone you trust who you could talk to about the menu for the meal(s)? It sometimes helps to know what is going to happen and in which order: it gives you a certain level of comfort and control, and removes any unexpected events that could cause stress.
Do you know who is coming to the celebrations? Can you choose where you are going to sit (preferably near to people who know that you are experiencing ED)?
Meditate before the festive period! Yes! Try to answer the following questions in your head: what is the worst that can happen? Is it really that bad? Are the effects permanent? Try to concentrate on the happiness you feel by being with your loved ones, not on negative ED thoughts related to food or exercise.
How to cope on the day: Remember that the relationship to food, whether you are suffering or not from an ED, is modified during festive time. People are exposed to large amount of food, it is a social occasion, mealtime is central, and we are all tempted to have an extra helping! Our bodies can deal with the excesses… without any control or help from us.
Whether you already know what is on the menu or not, the only thing you need to remember - always - is that you are going to spend a fabulous festive season and that you are in control. Keep in mind your recovery targets and focus on them: you want to set yourself free from your ED or at least be able to ignore the negative voices. You don’t have to force yourself or to put yourself in a stressful situation: you have the right to say no. “I am really sorry but I am not going to take any stuffing right now, but I am really happy to try some of this, please!”
Dealing with people who make comments about what you are eating, how you look or who try to persuade you to have another serving can be really challenging. Try to stay calm and to ignore any unhelpful comments… and change the subject of the conversation… More wine?!?... Most of the time, your family and friends are making these comments because they love you and can see that you are struggling. It is their way to help you, even if sometimes, it is the last things you need to hear. Take a few minutes for yourself, to calm down and decrease the stress levels: do some breathing techniques, mediation exercises, or talk to your support bubble.
One of the keys is to understand that your body is well equipped to manage the Holiday Period and to regulate itself. And no, your food balance isn’t going to be determined by what you ate 1, 2 or 3 days out of 365!!! All negative ED thoughts are wrong: no, a nice slice of Christmas cake isn’t going to increase your weight instantly! You can focus on your feelings while you are eating: do I feel full? Would I like and enjoy eating a bit of cake?...
Try to concentrate on the experience and stay positive! Christmas is a happy time spent amongst family and friends… and it can also be seen as a challenge that YOU can win by making progress, little by little.
After the festive season: Well done, you have done it and you enjoyed it!!! Now can be a difficult time when the ED voices return stronger than ever to put their claws back into you. Never forget all of the progress that you have made and keep in mind all of your wins. You will discover that despite all of the anxiety, nothing has happened to you, your body or your appearance. Take forward your achievements and use the confidence to continue your recovery… trust yourself you can beat the ED!